I think my fiance is bipolar...?

My fiance is

*Chronically irresponsible - doesn't finish anything he starts, doesn't keep a job for more than 3 months max - he'll quit a job out of the blue, too - like he'll have a bad day or just be tired in the morning and not go
*Moody as hell
*Always smoking pot/drinking
*Cannot spend his money responsibly - doesn't pay his bills - has a tendency to just find the easiest way to live without working for it
*Simoutaneously very high and very low self esteem
*Gets really gung-ho about a certain project for a while then forgets about it entirely
*Has a history of high-risk behaviors including casual sex, reckless driving, etc.
*Inability to change... it's kind of like he's stuck within himself

He's just the most LOST person I've ever met, and I'm trying to figure out what could be wrong with him.

Do these traits sound like bipolar disorder to you? Or something entirely different?

Should I try to stick it out (living with him is SO frustrating) or let him go?

We're not technically together anymore.. well, I moved out since he wasn't pulling his weight financially. I guess I still consider him my fiance because we still love each other and I'm kind of hoping he will get his **** together so we can get married... but I don't know if it's ever going to happen.

I'm really just trying to feel out if he's mentally ill or not, because something about his behavior and lifestyle just ISN'T NORMAL.

Whether to leave him or not is a decision you will have to make. Please though, don't marry him! That could be a huge mistake. This guy needs to get his act together first. I think I would tell him to move out and get his own place. That should be a motivator for him to get a job and keep it. You can't let him keep mooching off of you. He also needs to see a psychiatrist to find out if he is bipolar or depressed or just an irresponsible mooch. Some of the things you mentioned could indicate bipolar. (my mom and sister are bipolar so I have a bit of experience in this one) If he is not willing to do these things for you, then you need to cut him loose. I know that is really really hard, but wouldn't you do those things for him if the situation was reversed? You deserve someone who will give you the world. Take your time making these decisions, there is no rush. Good luck.

DO NOT marry someone you dont think you will be happy with. in my opinion, i would let him go if he's that frustrating to live with. becasue eventually you'll be covering for him when he gets into accidents or cant pay the bills. im not really sure if it sounds like hes bipolar or just a bum (no offence) try talking to a doctor about his condition because it could be a medical problem that can be treated.

Ask him to go to the doctor to see if he might be bipolar. If he is and can get help and he could change then try it out. If all goes the opposite I think you know what you're expecting from someone like that. You would have to be the one working and paying all the bills while he's at home smoking and drinking, so is this really what you want for your future or someone you would want for the father of your kids?

He is your fiance. Your suppose to love him no matter what. Otherwise why would you have said yes? I know it can be hard for you and im sorry about that. But if you love him you will stick by him. There are pills he can take for this and people he can talk to. hope everything works out ok

hmmm.
maybee you should take him to a sycolgiest or a doctor.
or even talk to him and see whats wrong.
Maybe something has been bothering him.
does he have like a lot of mood swings?
because bipolar people are nice one minute and then the next minute they snapp!

yes, if he's unmedicated. Bipolar people have all those symptoms unmedicated. he just needs the right medication, don't give up on him.

maybe it's his personality

well his addiction to the drugs might be the key.. but has he alwasy been like this?

ALL the symptoms ... ALL OF THEM could stem from the drug use. It's not bipolar disorder, it's drug-induced depression. He needs REHAB. Then the responsibility will change, and his mood will stabilize, and (wow!) he won't be broke all the time, and he'll suddenly have the focus and willpower to see a project through to the end. Casual sex? Reckless driving? All indicative of decreased inhibitions.

Don't make excuses for him. Don't give him an easy out! Tell him to get clean. And don't marry him tell he does. You don't really want to marry someone that unstable... He's probably got a real gem of a personality buried under the drug use. Make him live up to his potential - that's part of what makes a healthy marriage. You're not responsible for his choices, but if you don't have the backbone to tell him to straighten up when he needs to hear it, then you're not the kind of wife this guy needs. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but dude, seriously... think this one through.

Don't worry about what mental disorder your man is suffering from. He could just be a drug addict, alcoholic, chronically lazy and irresponsible. Whatever his problem is it is not yours - yet. Let the doctors be the judge of what ails him.

You are all that matters here. Don't be afraid to assert your personal boundaries. You deserve to have a good life free of heartache, manipulation, co-dependency and domestic violence.

Run as fast as you can and never look back.

Read "Co-dependent no more" it did wonders for me. ;)
NAMI is a good site for Mental Health information.

Oh dear. I personally, would not recommend you to let him go, because that will only lead him to be more depressed and frustrated ... i suggest that you talk things out with him, tell him how you really feel. Im not entirely sure if those may be signs of bipolar disorder, however i do suggest you to look up the symptoms. Quite frankly, show him your support. Tell him that you love him and that you dont like seeing him this way. Hopefully he would understand and try to change some of his behavior. Who knows? Maybe your attitude can change his. Good Luck!

Sound to me like he just has the L syndrome!! Loser that is. He lacks the motivation he needs to succeed in life. He's not happy for one reason or another or he wouldn't be doing the self destructive behavior he does to himself!!

Take a break from the relationship and give him time to grow up. He seems very immature from what you are saying. You need to not be in a relationship with him. That would be doing him the best favor EVER!! He needs time to get things in his life to where he is a happy camper!! Before he will be able to be happy with you and make you happy...he needs to find that in himself!! He seems lost!!

I am not a psychiatrist but it does not sound like your fiance has bipolar disorder. Although I do have to say he may have something wrong with him because sometimes bipolar people do have difficulty keeping jobs due to their mood swings, and what not;Which can make things difficult for them to get along with others. Or maybe he is depressed because when people are depressed some people interpret that as laziness. Or maybe he is just lazy, or can't function because sadly some people can not function in this world, and he may be one of them. So to be honest I would recommend seeing a psychiatrist, and or maybe a life coach or something to help manage his life. Best of luck, and I hope you guys can work it out.