Am I dating a charming Psychopath ? Really scared now.

I am afraid that the very sweet seeming man Ive been friends with for 2 years long distance is in reality a psychopath.
He has several really good friends and I thought psychopaths couldnt have friends long term.
But finally his emotional reactions disturb me.
His fiancee left him 2 years ago. I wouldnt date him until he told me he was over the shock of her leaving.
we dated 5 times last year. we live 2 hours apart,,,
he came to see me the first 2 times....i came to se ehim the last 3 times. No sex, or anything more than kissing.... our dates were long and he seemed so exciting fun ...drove his sports car 95 miles an hour, took me speedboating. just fun times. but he did say something weird on our last 2 dates.... he made jokes that he can be 'mean sometimes' and that he was 'thinking about being mean to people'
but after our 5th date he left me alone in his city the whole weekend after our date... finally he IMd me while i was alone in my hotel room that he was glad to see me. and then added 'the next night after our date I hung out with my friends eating lobsters and I also was working on a new platinum blonde pet project' I was stunned to be dissed that way...........We stopped talk ing for 3 months..... he then apologized for hurting me...said he was a bastard... so we struck up online friendship again. chatted every day between 10/07 and 5/08 ... he then told me actually had been seeing a girl regularly when we had dated and had just broken things off with her. he then said i should move near him and we should date exclusively. I told him I didnt trust him and he had to earn it....He said yes he had hurt me and was sorry... so we made plans to date again... I got distracted with work and after a few weeks found out he had a another new gf already!
he said it was tough because im long distance and he got lonely...
she then broke up with him and he sai dhe was shocked. he also found out his fiancee who left him is getting married.
he leaned on me for emotional support.... so for the whole summer i have been caring... now I have found out my dad lied to me about having pancreatic cancer and got me to take care of him when he was actually healthy!..
i turned to this guy for support, told him how i caregavemy parent, they lied and this was his reply:
oh you're so sweet and caring.
[ wth does that have to do with my dad lying to me ?]

ANother guy I dated who is a good friend wrote to me 'damn, wow, that was horrible, what could he do to make things better for me'

see that reply seems normal..... the guy ive been dating seems weird...

and I am moving near him for work 10/08 so I have to figure out if he is just a hurt scared man who is was hurt and is scared of love or a weird narcissistic psycho.

wow some really good answers! he is just so charming/handsome/educated/funny that it is like Im caught in a web....
but im AFRAID of him hating me if i move on.
when his ex got engaged he wrote long funny but mean blog about her new fiance. he knows of a guy who I dated and may date again (they both live in same city)
Im kinda fearful he will unleash anger on me online cause i 'agreed' to date him when i move to his city in october.

sorry this was so long!

HE is not the one who is "just a hurt scared (person) who is was hurt and scared of love" << that description describes you!

His remark that "oh you are so sweet and caring" is how he picks his "victims"...You Dad too.
You are acting like a person that thinks enough sweetness and caring can fix mean people.

WELL WAKE UP!
From all you've told me this guy is a USER ABUSER, and he's got your number.
He uses and abuses you, hurts you, and then trys to make it up to you, because he knows you're too sweet to have the guts to walk away!!!!!

If you DON'T walk away from this, you are a FOOL.
He will cheat on you, he will lie to you, he will hurt you, and then soothe you, over and over and over again.
He's already started with you, and entrapped you like a fly squirming in a tangle web of lies and deceit,
which is known in mental health circles as
"The Cycle of Abuse"

You will clearly see yourself at this link:
http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page5.ht...


And the ONLY answer is, for YOU to learn that YOU are responsible for the way people treat you, because when a person uses you, it is time to toss that bad apple out of your barrel. Only surround yourself with people who PROVE they can be trusted to act normally, and not hurt you.
If you do not toss out the bad apples, your whole life will rot and stink with bruises and pain.

If you continue with this man, the following will be YOUR life:
http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/3059/...

^j^

If you're ALREADY having these feelings about his weirdness, and you guys are not serious yet, then I would say stay away for now. Go with your gut. You should be head-over-heels with someone you are dating, not worried that he's a psycho! Tread lightly with this man...he seems a bit crazy.

Yes, he does have a personality disorder

oh boy, that's something. i guess he needs to get more confidence and show he's hornby for you, something he's been holding back, yes?

i wouldn't say he's a psychopath, but it's not worth it to stick around him, things are a little off. find a different prince charming

OMG! Do not go back out with this man!!! RED FLAGS ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!! He sounds mentally unstable. Move on and find a guy that will treat you right and won't lie to you.

He doesn't sound psycho, but he just sounds too weird. Too much sketchiness, it's not worth it.

stop dating the dude

thats creepy.

sorry but i dont think he is a pycopath but hes not very sesitve is he?

i agree he seems a tad bit weird..
i suggest you break up with him
honestly there has to be some reason his FIANCEE broke up with him at the last minute..

it seems like yall have a bi-polar relationship... move the hell on hunny

minimum he is a jerk dump him, ignore him and don't tell him you are moving

move on it doesn't seem like a healthy relationship

he doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me, move on

hes not physco.
hes just a guy.

ask him. but like bluedog its not a healthy relationship at all. :S

boy u must really be hard up to date a psycho and when something goes wrong you wonder why. Get real

He doesn't sound like a psychopath but he is nobody that I would want to date. He doesn't seem like he could be committed to one woman and just that too many things that you have told us seem weird about him. I would forget em.

The possibility exist.You certainly are a confused person and this is a problem best resolved before you make any other moves. It seems there is something you left out of the question.

I think you know the answer to your question sweetie. This dude is a player, a real jerk, a me, me, me type person. Don't allow others to use you this way! You need to learn to look for flags or signs that indicate when people are playing you to benefit themselves, not because they love and want to be near you.
Don't ever make anyone "your life or one and only" when you are just an "option" to them! You deserve better than that honey! It sounds as though you have an active social life, so save the best for someone who deserves the best of all you have to offer - you! Good Luck!

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!! This guy is a pathological liar. You will NEVER be able to trust him! You can do better. Just be patient. Meantime work on your own self esteem issues. Your dad played you. Ok, now you know who he is and what he's capable of. Forgive but don't forget. Find something you enjoy doing and do it! Invest in yourself and get your mind off these losers. When you're positive and confident, THOSE are the kind of people you attract.

he's a total freak, you already forgave him too many times, get away from him, you don't need him. That totally sucks that your dad did that to you, maybe people think they can use you, you're probably too nice, toughen up.

What's wrong with him being a little different? He does not sound that bad to me. Honestly, it sounds like you didn't hear from him what you expected to hear from a normal person, so you got scared. He may not be your type of person, but don't blame that on him.

this dude isnt a psychopath trust me I know all my friends are psychos they spent time in a mental hospital but if this dude starts talkin about killin people then you can start to worry