I need your advice in a crisis. Will you help me?

1- My brother had a final warning on his degree project deadline but he wastes a lot of time with his girlfriend and I am worried for him.
2- We are moving to USA and have no money at all even for ticket. My sweet uncle is giving us temporary accommodation but his 2 dogs are scary.
3- Before going to US, in 2 months, we are going to spend 1 month in Germany with my in-laws who I don't really get on well because my sister in law is such a bully.
4- The one good thing is I have a PhD scholarship starting January in Genetics, but I got my M.Sc 7 years ago and I am very out of date with my course, so I am struggling to educate myself before my course starts.
5- My husband used to be abusive, hasn't been for the last month though, and I am planning on leaving him when I am financially settled in US, so I am worried and stressed on the future and if I can manage this separation.
6- I have a baby of 1.5 years old, and I am struggling to be a good mother to her. But I want to stop breastfeeding to start using diet pills in order to lose some weight but I don't seem to find the will power to diet!

I think my main problem is financial worries, my husband wants to borrow some money from a family member in Germany, that's why we are going there first, but it's not guaranteed, I am worried what if he doesn't borrow us money!

I was an intelligent, happy girl, I don't know how I ended up being so miserable and a loser with no will power after marriage. I know in the future everything will be OK but the present is killing me.

Can you give me some advice please?

My uncle is in USA the same city as my future Uni

Hi Sarah, I hope you are feeling ok. Before you take any advise from anybody either on here or from a professional councillor you need to be able to help yourself. You seem like a bright girl with all your PH-D's and stuff and trust me its more than a lot of people have so you should not worry too much about your career.

My only worry for you is the struggle you are going to have saving money for a better future for you and your baby while you have an abusive husband who goes out and spends all your hard earned money and puts you in 拢拢拢's of debt.

So I guess you are both applying for American Citizenship over there? Because if you have an application for Citizenship and you get into any trouble with the police then you will get deported from the country, hopefully this could be a good way to get rid of him while you build your life?

I don't condole setting him up for anything, so you should try different solutions first such as a women's refuge. Please don't give up on your dream and don't worry too much about financial difficulty, you will find it harder to save while he is there, than to leave him without a penny to your name! Remember, the sooner you leave him the sooner your new life begins, this should be an exciting adventure for you so I hope you get what you deserve.

Good Luck!

Stop....

Chillout.....

Run a bubble bath.....

And tell the world it can go and get itself f*cked for an hour or so!!!

ok
1 your brother is an adult his problem.
2. you have a kind uncle - the answer is obvious - go to the states without your husband
3. sort out your uni stuff and ask for a counsellor there.
4. find childcare for when you are at uni and you will need to work.
5. now is not the time for diet pills and stop breastfeeding - baby will
be fine.
6 report him for taking cards in your name.
7.DIVORCE
bon voyage

First, It is nice that you are concerned for your brother, but you need to concentrate on YOU! Stop being so hard on yourself. Go through with your "plan". Do what you have to do to get away from abusive husband. Just because he has been "good" for A Month doesn't mean he is no longer abusive!! You are an Intelligent lady, and you are just going down a hard path in life right now. Take it One Day at a Time!! Once you get to the US, you can start your New Life! It will be Great!! Hang in there, and keep studying. Cancel all your credit cards or anything your husband can use. Once you get to US it will be a big weight lifted off you. Best of Luck to You!!

Wow...

1. His problem, not yours. All you can do is offer advice. If he takes it... great!
2. Call the university's financial aid office and inquire as to when you might be able to get aid. It's probably too late for this though if you're coming for the Fall semester. So you might need to resort to credit card, or asking your uncle.
3. Welcome to the club.
4. Congrats! Get out your old textbooks and read-up!
5. Okay, this is bad... You're moving him here to the US, and his visa is probably attached to your schooling, right? If so, once you divorce him, he'll need to leave, and you'll plan on keeping the baby here, huh? Nice. I have no advice... just make sure you can sleep well at night.
6. So stop if you want to stop.

Good luck in your graduate studies. PhD programs can be very demanding of your time.