Is it normal for me to be uncomfortable when my bf does this, or am I overreacting?? please help. god bles

my bf and i work together.. we have been friends for several years and were already working together before we starting dating. It has never been a problem, until now. We work at a vets office, im only a secretary and he is an intern.. because he is currently in vet school. we work with another female who is also an intern, and my bf and her spend alot of time together. not only do they go to the same vet school, but at work they are assigned projects together. They take lunches together sometimes and to me,, it seems like when they work together, everyone else in the room disappears in their minds. they are so wrapped in their own conversation. she has a long-time bf. but I think she really enjoys flirting with mine. my bf is very good to me; but when shes around i feel kinda invisable at work. yesterday when he was off work, he came to the office to speak to the manager and she was working, he walked right up to her and talked to her for a while and talked to her for an hour about school, then he waited for her to get off and then her walked her to her car talking; i heard him say" before i go, i better say bye to my gf and he yelled by to me and told me to call him when i got off work." I know he thinks shes attractive, because he has told me several times when we were just friends. My boyfriend always comes home and tells me how snotty she is and whatta ***** she can be and how he hates being arond her sometimes, then he kisses her *** like this and he acts just as snotty around her. im i taking this outta line, or should i feel uncomfortable, what do i say without sounding jealous and controlling?

I think ur being normal and any1 can get a lil jealous
U shud talk 2 him about dis.
Just tell him to consider ur feelings and pay less attention 2 her.

Girl, just be controlling and jealous, and admit to him that you ARE. With men, you have to be a little blunt, especially men that seem to think they want to flirt with little interns like them.

You may just want to sit him down and talk about it with him. Tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable. And it would be nice if he paid a lil more attention to you at work.

Tell him you don't appreciate the way you are being treated. No one like to be treated this way. Tear his *** up and slow him down a little. He enjoys her company or he would not be acting this way.

It appears that he needs to stay on good terms with her to have a healthy working relationship so I would not worry

it doesn't sound like you're jealous; it sounds like you're JUSTIFIED!!

hmmm
are you happy like this is the question.

Oh, please... people can be good friends with other people even while in relationships.

Do NOT continue this at all

Hes making you look like a doormat

I was in a situation like this. The woman I was dating would act this way around her first husband. When he was around they were basically wrapped around each other and I might as well have not even been there considering how much she ignored me. It's not a good feeling and in all honesty he should be more considerate of your feelings. There's nothing wrong with being friends with this woman but he certainly seems to go out of his way for her.

When I left the woman I was dating...guess what she did? She got back with her first husband. So think about your situation. I'm not saying your bf is going to hook up with her but he is giving her too much of his attention and not enough to you.

To answer this question I will give you a little bit of background from my life. Hopefully this will help.

I am an RN and while I went to school I was married (though it was failing). I met someone at school who I thought was real fun to hang with plus she was helpful in studying.
We hung out ALOT!
My ex wife thought we were having an affair. The people at school thought we were too. This girl also was married, and she also was a real *****. That didnt mean anything, for some reason I was attracted to her.
We shared alot of secrets, flirted ALOT and talked about how unhappy we both were in our marriages.
Did anything happen?
NO
Did I want it to happen? Yes.
Do I think she wanted something to happen? Maybe so.
But nothing ever did

Now Understand I am not saying your BF is cheating or wants to, but I am saying that when in school you develop a relationship with people because they are going through the same situations you are, and you can talk "shop" with them. So this tends to lead to a bond. Now, does this means he wants to sleep with her, or her with him? I dont know. BUT the main thing you should be asking yourself is how do you feel?

Do you feel like something is happening? Do you feel like he is slipping away? Do you feel like his treatment to you has changed and not for the better? Trust your gut.... It is usually right (just make sure you arent being emotional when you trust it)

Sounds to me like he likes this girl. Talking down about her to you makes it seem like he "doesn't like her" but spending that much time with another chick, especially right in front of you, is really rude. Find someone else to talk to at lunch, preferably a hot guy. Or next time you two are out somewhere and there is a hot guy, flirt like crazy with him. See how he likes it. But in all reality, you probably should look for another guy.

Girl, put your foot down and tell him exactly how you feel. Don't let him make you feel that way. That is not soundiong controlling. If I were you, I would tell him infront of her that he needs to respect you as his gf. And then tell her that she needs to respect you and your bf's relationship. If this continues to happen, then you need to move on stop feeling sorry for yourself. Drop the zero and get a hero...

Good Luck...

You're in trouble here - I mean your relationship is very solid - your man loves you and only you, but unfortunately, there is not much you can do to make him pay attention to you more.

The problem is that he is an intern. This takes a boatload of time and effort. It also forms a relationship with fellow interns (both male and female) that you can't possibly compete with.

So you will have to accept that this girl and him are colleagues, and will have to work together for long periods of time. Tell your man that you feel jealous of this girl from time to time, and that you love hearing him say bad things about her. You can also mention that you understand that it is part of his career, but sometimes it is difficult that you don't get to spend so much time with him. He should get the hint and tell you more bad things about her.

I don't think there is anything between them that is not professional. This will end whenever the internship ends, and then you will have him all to yourself! Think of the goal at the end of the internship, and hopefully that will get you through this time. It is ... really rough, but it is a necessary thing for his career.

your boyfriend is really attracted to that girl and the fact that he treats you the way he does, says a lot.......none of it good.

it's not that he doesn't care about you but right now, she's the one he wants to be with. they have a lot in common and he's let himself get carried away. right now, he'll rahter be with her than be with you..

not to jump the gun, you should tell him how his new friendship with this girl makes you feel. i guess his reaction will tell you what's really going on.

i know it'll hurt but if you can, end the relationship.

if he was just friends with her, he wouldn't be telling you nasty things about her and trying to convince you he doesn't like her.

you'll have to decide what you want to do.

No maam, you are not overreacting at all... it is natural for you to feel like that.
Answer is simple..talk to your boyfriend about this. If he really loves you, he'll understand and prolly find a way or atleast not do all that in front of you coz even if he means no harm..its natural for you to feel jealous.

Talk to him..only this can help you.

Important : Do this in time or small things can become the reason for a crumbling relationship. Believe me coz i have been through this.

All the best! I'll b glad if i can be of any help to you.


Navneet
(navneetkhare@hotmail.com)

I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable. I would too. Since you are you'll need to talk to him about this. Try no to be confrontational. Talk about how you feel about it. It very well may come off as sounding jealous, but your bf should understand. Don't ask him not to talk to her or anything. Maybe he could eat lunch with you? Try to remain calm even if he gets uptight. An argument will get you no where.

I would be a little worried since he talks to her so much, but they probably just have a lot in common. My boyfriend and I work together too, and he had a girl that worked with him on a lot of projects and they went out to lunch together a few times. She has a long term bf too, but I was still worried. I told him that him going to lunch with her made me uncomfortable and he stopped going alone with her. She went out to lunch with us once and it helped me feel less jealous because I got to be involved in the conversation. Try talking to your boyfriend about it or just join their conversation to show that you and him have stuff in common too.

wow i really dont know what to make of this, that would make me unconfortable as well... i'm a nurse and what you describe is kind of like similar reasons as to why i would never date a med student or resident... i would always fear that secretely they would one day be like wow im a doctor i can date "better" than a nurse. .... but as you know, from the janitors to the doctors, everyone has a different but nonetheless important role in a hospital ! (well vet office in your case).

But on the other hand you guys sound like you have a solid relationship that has been going on for quite some time...

perhaps if you're able to talk to your bf without any yelling or threats, just tell him how you feel a little hurt, you could get his point of view on the situation. Maybe he just doesn't realize it hurts you. I mean yes it's normal that he interacts with his coleaugues at work, but point out what you thought was flirting to hear his take on it. Better to know than not to know, whatever he says...

Take care.

ignore him for a while..and he might come up to you.

Wow sounds awful just reading that is hurtful.Ive had that happen to me and honesty he isnt thinking about your feeling at all most of the time.Your just his gf while he is enjoying all his time he can with this girl.I hate to stand by and watch this.If I was you I wouldnt take it you should have someone who ignore anyone just to be with you or talk to you every chance he can get. I mean he can have friends but sounds like your not as important as you think you are. I hope you can fix this cause its not right.Just talk to him and if thinsg dont change leave him. If he cares he respect your feeling.How he like it if you were doing that with a guy?