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Anything incorrect grammar in this writing? Thank you~`?


Q:
In some countries government put industries and business from big city to regional area or rural area. Discuss disadvantages and advantages.

para 3
However, it should not be neglected that one of the main disadvantages is the inconvenience of the inhabitants of the city. People prefer to live places closed to shopping centres and working places but the movement of working place may bring a contradiction: Stay or move? Time and mental cost on the way should be put into consideration but inconvenience to shopping and relaxing in the rural should be taken into account equally. For the white-collar under great working pressure today, it is unacceptable not to entertain and relax after a busy working day.

para4

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However, it should not be ignored that one of the main disadvantages is the inconvenience to the residents of the city affected. People prefer to live in places close to shopping centres and workplaces, but moving workplaces may present a contradiction. (subsequent questions should probably be avoided in essays) Time (and psychological effects?) should be considered, but inconvenience to shopping and relaxation venues should be taken into account equally. For the white-collar worker under immense pressure from their occupation, its is unacceptable not to accommodate for entertainment and relaxation after a busy day at work

In some countries, the governments put industries and businesses from big cities to regional or rural areas. Discuss disadvantages and advantages.



However, it should not be neglected that one of the main disadvantages is the inhabitants' inconvenience in the city. People prefer to live in places close to shopping centres and working places but the Working Place Movement may bring a contradiction: Stay or move? Time and mental cost should be put into consideration but inconvenience to shopping and relaxing in the rural are also factors. For the white-collar under great working pressure today, it is unacceptable not to entertain themselves and relax after a busy working day.

It should not be overlooked that one of the main disadvantages is the inconvenience which inhabitants of the city face.
People prefer to live places close to shopping centres and work sites.However, the relocation of work places may bring a conundrum: stay or move?
Time and psychological effects of a move should be placed into consideration.
Inconvenience in shopping and networking in the rural areas should be taken into account equally.
For white-collar professionals under career stress today, it is fairly common to entertain after a busy day at work.
All of these factors must be considered when considering a change in location.

I changed a few things to make it more readable.Hope this helped!

However, it should not be neglected that one of the main disadvantages OF THE CITY is the inconvenience of the inhabitants.

People prefer to live places close to shopping centres and PLACES OF work but IF THESE PLACES WERE TO BE MOVED, THE CITIZENS WOULD HAVE TO DECIDE WHETHER TO stay or move?

Time and EMOTIONAL FACTORS CAUSED BY THE MOVE should be considerED but inconvenience to shopping and relaxing in the rural AREAS should equally be taken into account .

BECAUSE IN OUR MODERN SOCIETY the white-collar ARE under SUCH great working pressure, it is unacceptable FOR THEM not to BE ABLE TO entertain and relax after a busy working day.

I have put my changes in capitals. Hopefully this will show what changes I made to your grammar. I pretty much rearranged some of your sentences and added some text to make the work read better.

I hope this helps you.

Good luck and happy writing!!

MY oh MY, you would be better off to ask "is there any correct grammar in the entire question"?. The grammar and punctuation are ATROCIOUS, and the spelling is almost as bad. Sentence structure and train of thought are poor at best. Please make an attempt at entering the 5th Grade and concentrate on Reading, Writing, Grammar, and Spelling. If you are quoting verbatim, then I suggest a new teacher or school.

Yikes - I don't know where to begin.

"it should not be neglected" One should not neglect...
what is the inconvenience of the inhabitants?

set it up first.

"working places" "the place that they work"

Perhaps "people prefer to live in places, convenient to where they work or shop".

Quite a few errors. You need to do your own homework.

However, one of the main disadvantages is the inconvenience to workers who live in the city. People prefer to live close to shopping centres and work places, but the movement of the work place may bring a contradiction: Stay or move?

*I'd like to point out here that you have 1) no proof for this last statement and 2) you've forgotten about schools.*

Time and the stress of commuting should be a consideration, but inconvenience to shopping *You've phrased this as if it's a benefit -- consider moving it* and the relaxed pace of rural life should also be taken into account. For the white-collar worker who is under great pressure today, it is unacceptable *Again, where's your proof?* not to be able to entertain friends and relax after a busy working day. *Also, where does it say you can't do that in the country? Maybe the friends would like a break from city life as well?*

The grammar is fine, your sentence structure needs some work, you skipped a few words, too. Try reading your writing out loud to yourself. It really helps catch those missed words.

The biggest issue is that you provide no research to back up your claims and opinions.

EDIT: I have no objections to helping you straighten out your homework since you've already done the bulk of the work yourself.

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