Friends at work - is it okay to just mind my own business?

I have co-workers that I'm friendly with (lunches, shopping, phone calls), but I still keep them at a distance, because if a female friendship goes bad on the job, watch out.

Three co-workers are making some poor choices, but I'd rather just mind my own business than try and offer up advice (it's been requested), because I don't like my name coming up in work drama and people tend to kill the messenger.

Do you agree? Am I right to want to just be friendly, but not get into the middle of the work drama of others? We're all adults and professionals so we should know by now (ages = 30s-40s) what to do and not to do in the work place.

I agree - keep your distance and stay a little quiet. Hang out in the background for a bit. I made that mistake at my last job and it got sloppy.

If they keep pressing you for advice, I'd try going with a "I'm flattered that you even want my advice, but I think this is really something you need to figure out on your own. You're more than welcome to vent to me about it though"

It puts you in a safer spot.

Good luck!

Coleen has the best answer for you. Don't let them drag you into their mess. They will drag you through the mud. I have very few people that I work with that I socialize with. Maybe a cookout or go fishing. I do not let my personal life interfere with my job. Report It

i completey agree to keep distance. from personal experience i was friends with a coworker and she went behnd my back to change some of my work so she wouldnt get in trouble. when i found out it caused havoc in the work place very uncomfortable and eventually led to me being let go. Report It

I totally agree with you. I'm friendly at work, but I don't socialize much with my co-workers. We may do lunch or talk about a weekend or something, but I keep it professional. I plan on spending my career here, so I don't want things muddied up with personal relationships.

Right you are. You'll certainly regret getting involved.

I don't blame you for not wanting to get caught up in drama. I thought that after I graduated HS that the drama would end (boy was I wrong) It still continues, it's sad but it does. Your there, at work, to work not to make friends, if you do then great if you don't then that's fine too (that's what I always tell people at work when they try to start drama with me). Don't get caught up in the drama, people might get snappy with you for it, but it's better in the long run.

Hi Smart One~

You are so right in your behavior. You are giving a good example and that is terrific.

When and if someone requests your advice may I suggest that you say something simple that doesn't involve any other than yourself. "You see what I do about office dating? Right?"
"I don't need to say more do I?"

Some people are so lonely and hungry for attention that the workplace becomes their dating ground. It's unfortunate that it occurs but it does. Just lead by example.

Then be as friendly and cordial as you can be, while thinking they are morons.. ha ha jk

If you are specifically asked then you are obligated to answer however it's OK to add something like "You have to do what's best for you but, "This is only my opinion" or "This is what I would do" That should keep you away from the middle. It's also OK to repeatedly say (when asked) "I really don't know what I would do" or "I really don't know the answer to that" Enough of those answers and they may quit asking. Good Luck>

I would rather stay quiet, and let them defend themselves if they want to. You don't want to loose your job, for nothing.

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Is a good way of helping others, you seem to like that. I do