My 2 year old has just finished her memoir?

She's looking for someone to publish it, but I have to be honest, I don't support her.

She's included some very intimate details about our relationship and household, most of which are highly exaggerated. She claims that I would go on alcohol binges up to 5 times a week. this suggests that I'm drunk for 5 out of 7 days, and it's just not true. I'm only drunk for maybe 10 hours at a time, 12 tops.

She also claims that the Tupperware parties I host monthly are just a cover for a drug trafficking business. It's not my fault that Tupperware makes the ideal containers for keeping your product fresh. I'm trying to make some money here, and I'm not being picky about who buys from me.

Anyway, here's the question. If she does end up getting this book published, is the money she earns automatically hers even though she's only 2? Do you think I'll end up in prison? And if I do, will they let me sell Tupperware?

I think we all know the answer to the question that clueless has posed.

I have seen the draft of the memoirs and the first thing that struck me was that it was written in two styles of handwriting. The first was in pen, the second in crayon which I presumed to be your daughters. However, on forensic analysis the crayon writing appears to closely match the threatening letters that you wrote to Judas Rabbi over the infamous sexual favours scandal. The paper also contained traces of Tupperware, motile sperm and smelled strongly of urine.

no, that's the beautiful part, you get to keep the money.

Does she know how to write? So who wrote the memoirs for her? Child exploitation will get you in prison!

are you in your right mind, lady?

Its actually yours but you can put it into a trust fund for when she turns 18

I think as a parent u have full rights to the funds and the content...perhaps you should create your own memoir title "IF I were a drug trafficking tupperware mom, this is how I WOULD do it"

Yeah. Jokes involving children and being drunk are certainly the cutting edge of humor. I die every time I read one. I pee myself with the hilarity of it. You are a great role model for us all. I want to make other babies with you, so we can get drunk together and fall over in a stupor and vomit all over the floor on a regular basis. Wouldn't that be the funniest ever? OH MAN!!! YEAH! HELL! BEING SOBER SUCKS!

I like loose chicks who drink.

Do you sell weed?

I hear its easier to get Tupperware in prison than on the street , anyways.

The money is yours until she turns 18. Why don't you use the earnings from her book sales to further suplement your drug sales and maybe take it up a few notches?

As for ending up in prison....hello! Ever hear of bringing the cops into your organization? Thus, once again, the additional money from her autobiography will help instead of hurt.

Don't worry about "dirty laundry" coming out. It's not really that important. The public loves a little dirt on their celebrities, and you will actually become bigger once the "crap" hits the fan and this book ends up on Oprah's book club.

One side note. Please spend all of the money before she turns 18. She will be able to sue you for the earning at that point, but as Rocky Balboa once famously said in Rocky V, you can retort "Sue me for what?".

God Bless you and your family!

You keep the money..no prison..no proof..you need not worry about tupperware in prison..we females have lots of hiding places for drugs!

omygood jesus ,Woman. the way your mind thinks.....

maybe you should try to get a movie deal. I hear the royalties can be pretty darned lucritive.

ooh! and You could do a Cameo Appearance.
I'd go to see it just for that. .

Well, just make sure that all names have been changed when the book is published and it's published under fiction. Then you'll be in the clear!