Any way to get a free laptop without referrals or credit cards?

Well, I'm no sucker. I don't need a laptop, but it would be helpful for school. I've tried eBay and Craigslist a few times, my pockets are just nervous. I know most free laptop deals aren't really deals. I also know sponsoring companies make money from your referrals and applications to programs. I just want to know if there are sites that give you a free laptop, but the applications are free, and you don't need to pay for something, only to cancel it. Also, if the same site doesn't make you refer friends off of different computers on top of the applications to make "credit". I've researched the alternatives, but most of them were lying hackers telling me to beware of hackers, or representatives for the business with the ad. Sometimes I even caught people telling me there is a hacker's link that lets you get around finding referrals. But, the site the linked you to always had terms and conditions that are insanely unreasonable. So, I just want to know an honest site to visit that provides a free laptop with quick shipping and know that the answerer had actually gone through the site and got clear and pure results. I am hoping not to get philosophical answers because I do have a job ("Get a Job, work hard, get a laptop", heard it billions of times, already doing it) and I know money isn't free because time is money, effort takes time, most sites require effort. But, without having to spend ACTUAL money with a card.

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Do you think people would pay high prices for laptops when they could really get one for free? Why do you think you're any different?

Rule # 135: There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Nothing is free